Well your going to have to bite that big bullet..

what I would do first is take a look at your overall monthly spending mortgage/rent, power, water, food, Dr appts and meds, property taxes , auto insurance, going out for meals ... Hair , nails, makeup etc etc anything you can think of write it down ( if you have access to that , or some of it )

Basically write it all down so you have a starting place.

Sure try to find a good time to tell him what’s going on.. yes he’s going to yell and probably furious. Prepare yourself for it... maybe he needs to take a walk , or a drive or maybe you should .. time apart is the best thing you can do for both your sake.

Then it’s going to be a case of sitting down with that list in your hand and both finding ways to cut spending. Hand over your credit cards you simply can’t be trusted..

It’s not going to be pretty. Maybe a bill consolidation company can help lower the monthly payment?? While not trashing your credit.

Pulling from your retirement fund? I personally wouldn’t. You will need that to survive on being retired especially if there is an medical emergency

Maybe seeing a marriage counselor could help ? Sure hypo/manic people with Bipolar can spend money like water. But there are ways to control it, and if you’ve done this before you just can’t use the Bipolar excuse again, we are responsible regardless anyway.

Limit your access to credit cards .. again you do have to have them in your wallet. Each month load X dollars on a grocery store card, I have 30.00 sitting on a Walmart card for gas, if I’m out and my car is on E I can use that.

When you have spent all this money how did you bring items into the home? Was he not there?

I wish there was an easier way to tell him, just expect his anger and know that you honestly must remove the ability to overspend.

I hope once the dust settles you can both talk about ways monthly spending can be cut to fix this.

Good luck