Go find some help, there are plenty of groups out there for you. I know it's hard, I've been where you are now and I know you probably think your case is different, I know I did bit I came out the other side and you can too.

Baby steps, find a way to muster up the courage to ask for help, find someone to speak to, you will get through this if you set your mind to it but you need to take the first step, it won't come to you.