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Originally Posted by RosesAreRed487
Thank you this helped a lot. I’ve suggested getting help before but she won’t do it. Her parents aren’t really in her life either so I can’t try and talk to them. Her dad was but he kicked her out so she lives with her boyfriend right now which just makes the situation even worse. I think she’s just desperate for love because she never had it growing up. Idk. This whole situation is just so bad and now I feel like there’s nothing I can do, I feel so useless. But I have to keep trying to help her.
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All you can really do is to tell her it's abusive and that she needs to leave him and encourage her to do so. You cannot save her and she is in denial of it all. That's the problem. She claims to love him and need him and that is her priority, not seeing the abuse for what it is.
I had a friend once who refused to believe her relationship was abusive. They did not live together, but I kept repeating the same things to her. Eventually and after three years of crap, she broke up with him, but never acknowledged that it was abuse.
It was really hard to watch my friend go through that.
But you cannot save your friend, like I said, and it's HER doing at this point. You need to understand that. She is CHOOSING to remain in an abusive situation, and she is CHOOSING to ACCEPT the abuse.
There's really not much you can do. You have to step back from the situation, and perhaps even distance yourself somewhat so that it's not as upsetting.
Know and fully understand that It's not your job to save her. She must SAVE HERSELF. Only she can do that.
It's the same thing as an alcoholic. They have to first admit they have a problem, BEFORE they will seek help.
Your friend doesn't even want help and she cannot acknowledge the abuse. It's our of your hands, unfortunately. .
Please don't put yourself into a co-dependent role with her. That's where your own health suffers for the sake of saving another from themselves.
It's best if you just step back and out of the situation, altogether.