I am done with life.

I am done living.

My life has given me good things, but it's kicked me around and ****ed me over far more. I have been through trauma, poverty, multiple episodes of depression, trichotillomania (hair-pulling disorder), I've gone without friends multiple times, and at this point I don't know how much more I can take.

I am done with the world. Life has proven itself miserable, unfair, and deaf to the cries and sufferings of the people living it. I know that sounds super emo and pessimistic, but right now that's how I feel about everything.

I've got a few things going for me- I have a job (a stressful one, but a job), I've got a friend at school whom I adore, and I'm speaking to a therapist. But apart from those things it's just miserable and depressing. I have tried to have hope that the future will work out, that things will get better. I will find a boyfriend, get a career I love, be financially comfortable, and be a happy, productive member of society who belongs. But my life has proven time and time again that that's not gonna happen, sorry.

It's as if the universe is saying, "**** you, you stupid piece of ****. You want what, happiness? Nope, not today. Here are 10 new problems." and just when I think those 10 problems are solved, I get 10 more, like clockwork.

I feel like I could snap at any moment and end it.