I think I've talked about this before. That I can't afford to be in my apartment. Now I'm about to move. My dad is found something we're gonna see next week. Now it's happening. With everything else in my life, no job etc., this feels like the final nail. I can feel it in my whole body, an anxiety that comes up. I don't know how to deal with this and I become very suicidal.

It was postponed for a while but now it's happening. I just texted my psychiatrist about it, saying that I wanted to die. Not sure if he will even text back.

I'm not sure of myself. I feel this is the end of the rope for me, I can't keep on and I can't face another defeat. It's just too much. I have it all planned out...

I'm thinking about going in patient. Don't know if it will help.
God I just feel awful and just stare into space. Maybe I'm overreacting. But I still feel the way I feel and the thoughts are there. This just feels like the last good thing in my life and I can't continue anymore.