Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle
Thanks, fern.
Writing down my stream of thoughts might prove helpful, as can listening to soothing music, so I'll give those things a shot. I really wish I could sit in nature or put my feet in the earth, but it's cold as hell outside because it's the dead of winter.
I never thought of turning these thoughts into something creative. I suppose I can do that -- although my thoughts are more along the lines of things to do as opposed to random stuff like, "why are cows spotted?" or "I wonder how many physical trains are in NYC." For example, there are at least 10 things I want to do right now and I am only one person and I can't do them all simultaneously. Like right now, I want to read and play guitar at the same time, among other things. Not really something you can do simultaneously. I just have a bunch of "goals" in mind, I guess.
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I feel a book coming.... 'A Million and One Thoughts of the Restless Mind'.
Mine was more like revelations for a topic that I'm very passionate about that light up my brain. The thoughts were all potentially connected, but spewed out of my brain without coherent order. I think I better understand your situation now. You can still write it all down. That way you process it and don't engage with it. You'd end up with something like the greatest coping skills activity list of all time.
I hear you on the winter issue. I'm stuck in a few months of almost daily rain. In that case maybe look around the room and connect there. Go to each object and touch it and say the name to yourself. Out loud is even better. Blue candle, picture frame, television, decorative bowl... So on and so forth. It is kinda like counting sheep but it engages the senses and stops the brain train from running off the rails.
In general it sounds like your neurons have been dimmed from the meds and now they are oversensitive. I did a lot of research on this effect when coming off APs and did a very slow taper over many weeks as a result. I know you somewhat tapered off the Rexulti, but its possible that's what's going on. You may have to ride this rebound effect out for a bit. I imagine it feels uncomfortable amd very difficult to focus.
Is there a time of day where it isn't so bad? I'd make sure you get your work work done during that time as I know what a stressor it is when you get behind.
I hope this improves for you soon!
