Another good article on brainwashing.
The signs you'''re a victim of perspecticide - Business Insider
The answer to your question, theoretical as to why its hard to deprogram a brainwashed victim of abuse (let alone, member of a cult, or a military soldier) is because of the way the brainwashing functions to remove the victim's own ability to form reasonable thoughts.
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"Through perspecticide, people give up their own opinions, religious affiliations, views of friends, goals in life, etc," Fontes said. "I am not talking about the natural mutual influencing that occurs in all intimate relationships — this is much more nefarious and one-sided."
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For the victim, their life is overwhelmed with wondering how to appease their controlling partner. Fontes said they may even experience physical signs of stress over time such as changes to eating and sleeping, head or back aches, and digestive problems, because they are too worried about their partner's wrath.
"A person who is being coercively controlled — even without physical violence — does not feel free to live their own life on their own terms," she said.
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