it's easy to call the winning plays for the football game after the game is over or from the comfort of the living room.

there is a syndrome call Stockholm syndrome : it is a condition in which hostages develop a psychological alliance with their captors during captivity. Emotional bonds may be formed, between captor and captives, during intimate time together, but these are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims.

the relationship altho dysfunctional becomes normal.

just because someone on the outside sees a relationship as "bad or dangerous" the people inside it don't necessarily feel the same way. danger, abuse, etc make no difference. kind of like telling an addict to stop using..they may not see the problem. outsiders can scream & yell but you can't force change on people.

in many places law enforcement must take action if called to the scene.. regardless if no one wants to file a complaint of abuse. this helps break the cycle of power and inability to break thru the relationship.

I think the key thing is for us to remember to not criticize victims even more for their inability to break free..that does nothing ...if a woman (or man) does not feel strong enough to leave the relationship, the last thing they need is a chorus of others adding on comments about their character being poor and adding on to the abuse to children etc. I doubt there is free will involved with that victim. my guess is that when she (or he) feels strong & safe enough they might try to make a break for it...hopefully..maybe it will take intervention by law enforcement, maybe family, friends, who knows...but I do know support is the key, not criticism and cries to remove the children and leave the other parent in the home.