Okay, there's a bit going on here, so I'm going to try addressing some key points instead of responding to each post individually.

Firstly,

I agree. It's quite a bit different when one's caught up in the moment and the outcome is uncertain. One risks becoming overwhelmed with emotions. But there's some advantage to re-watching the game after the fact with a critical eye. We can see what mistakes we made more clearly and devise plans for how we should've acted so that we might be better prepared in the future.

I mean, I barely even have any emotions to get caught up in, but trying to help an abusive victim by reasoning with them, from my experience, has been about as effective as breaking through a brick wall with your forehead.

So maybe using reason isn't the answer. Much like cultists, they didn't enter into that situation through reason, and they aren't going to leave through reason either.

Nonetheless, I still don't think it's impossible. Hell, it probably isn't even that hard. It isn't like these abusers are criminal masterminds who've planned out every manipulation in meticulous detail. In most cases, they're just emotionally disturbed, and the abuse suffered by their partners is merely a side effect of the abuser's inability to contain their own toxic ********.

I guess the obvious question ought to be: For those of you who decided to leave an abusive relationship, what was it that convinced you to make that decision? What broke the illusion?

Also, what didn't work?

A few side notes:
I get what you're trying to say, and I want to be clear that I'm not implying the physical danger isn't real, but this is still an aspect of the brainwashing process, #4 and #6, specifically. It creates learned helplessness. StreetcareBlanche's article has some good illustrations of this in practice with the abuser convincing his victim that she's powerless against him and that any attempt to defy him will lead to violence or death.

And again, not that death isn't a real possibility, but abusers aren't nearly as powerful as they make themselves out to be. It's merely an attempt to use fear as a method of control.

That's a bold strategy, Tisha, and I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I believe various law enforcement agencies refer to this as "kidnapping" and it's generally frowned upon for some reason.