All of the things you mention would be stressful in themselves, StarryPrince, but I can't imagine what you must go through dealing with them all. My heart really goes out to you.

Like you, I also feel that I didn't have much of a childhood due to the volatile nature of my father and my own nature.

I also feel that I am going it alone for much of the time even though I have a couple of close friends. Well . . . one really.

Sometimes it can be a kind of quiet distress where depression and anxiety about the future feed off each other in a vicious cycle.

Those who haven't experienced these kinds of things cannot really understand them deeply, in my opinion.

So sorry for what you are going through. I definitely relate to it.

Hope things improve for you! -- Yaowen