I feel like I can relate, at least, a little bit of your life. For almost my whole life I believed that I had wonderful parents. And then I was reading articles on Psych Central about Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). I was curious to read into it just to see what it is. I didn't think it could apply to me. But I read the articles and, WOW!, it described my childhood to a tee! I didn't think it could, but it did.

I grew up in an upper-middle class family. So we had everything we wanted and a little more. Also we lived in nice places. I was an envy of other kids my age at where I lived. My parents were great providers for me. So I guess, because of that, I felt like my parents were wonderful. Well, when it came to emotional support for me from them, then I realized that they were terrible. Money seems to talk.

Also they were pretty much "pillars of the community". My father was an owner of a resort business and I had worked for him. Previously he was a teacher; and was considered the best teacher that school ever had. But he sure wasn't great as a father. People loved my mother a lot, too.

There were a lot of times I would hear nothing but put-downs and criticizing. A lot more of it than good things. Also they got angry very easily. I had heard that they didn't want to have kids when they got married. I sure heard a lot of how "kids can ruin life". My late brother turned out to be gay. I think he ended up like that because he didn't get proper love from my parents. For some strange reason, they came down very hard on him. Much harder than me. My late brother never succeeded in anything and that was sad. So was his death.

I hope this is of help to you. I don't have any suggestions or anything. Best to you.