I found out my dad wasn't my biological father when I was 20, and that everybody knew except myself.. I felt very betrayed because half of my family wasnt really blood relation .. but more so because they all knew and I never did.
I always felt left out when I was a kid. My mother was always very mean towards me.. and now i honestly believe its because she hated my father. Now I know about everything, she says how vindictive and evil he was.. then in another sentence will say I'm like him in many ways. She thinks it's disgusting that I would ever want to talk to him etc.

Well today there is social media and so many of my real family members are reaching out with photos of us together when I was a baby etc. I found out where my red hair came from, that I have a brother and that I'm half Irish! But I feel so much guilt about it all! They post on my facebook and my mother laughs about it and mocks that I talk to people who didn't make an effort beforehand.

I have so many emotions about it.. and I haven't told anybody about these things

How do I navigate through this? I feel sad and happy about it.. but so much guilt to my family who are here. (We moved to a different country). Sigh.