Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
So be single, but live your life, and find things you enjoy.... it seems you yourself let your friendships go due to possibly low self esteem but also to a serious lack of effort. I am married and middle aged and I have to reach out to my friends, stay in contact with them, make time for them and make an honest effort to maintain the friendships. Everyone is busy and/or married with kids, and it takes earnest and honest effort. It seems you didn't do that at all because you thought they didn't like you or were too busy for you and you gave all your time and energy to this man and your child. That's what you wrote in your first post.
"I invested so much into him, all I had, except for my child of course, I lost all other friends and I am basically alone. Everything revolves around him."
That was your mistake, You invested far too much into this person and you let the rest of your life fall by the wayside.
I understand how depression and loneliness work because I've been there plenty times myself, but you have to find the fight in you to get a life again for yourself. The only way to make a life for yourself is to take action, not be passive and just do it. At some point, you have to pick yourself up out of your slump and make an effort to work on your life.
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^^^^ This. The solution to this problem is action, there is no other way out of it. Sitting and feeling defeated won't get you to feeling better. You need to find some folks who share similar interests or interest and get out and do what you do, whatever that is. Join a reading group, a walking group, learn to blow glass or sculpt or paint or draw or write. Join a running or cycling group. Join a local mental illness meetup/support group or whatever they have in your area. Finally read something you have always wanted to read. Make plans to do something fun. Ride a rollercoaster. Take a boat ride. Go to a movie. A good one. Go listen to some music. Go to a museum. Plan a little trip somewhere for a couple of days. Go camping. Write poetry. Make some plans. Make something giant out of Legos. Do a fun puzzle. If you don't feel like it, MAKE yourself do it. Action is the only thing that will get you out of this.
People in your age group (which very broadly includes me) are super busy with jobs and kids and being sure everyone is fed and the house is not a mess. There is not a lot of time in the modern world for other stuff. Like, no time at all. People are just way, way, way too busy. It is not your fault. If you want to see someone from your past, you will probably have to initiate that yourself. So, do it!
Sending you strength and support. Many of us have been right where you are. You can do this!! Just start taking a little action.