I've been clean and on my meds. for my bipolar for over a year now .I've made the mistake of going off my meds. a couple of times before over the past 5 years and using drugs was one ways I handle being off my meds. But now I have been thinking the using to fit in . Let me explain my wife and kids are at opening day baseball for my son its a big event but I'm home alone i just cant handle all the different people the the sounds and movements it makes my head spin and I will start freaking out .In the past I have used drugs to deal this and they work great I'm able to go out and do things like normal people spend with my family and have a good time .Its hard never going to family events or baseball games out to the mall so I don't wont to use to get high but just to be like every other parent I'm not going to use I've learned not to make that mistake but as I sit here alone today its all I'm thinking about .

Dose any one else go though this?