I got involved with someone, who I ended up renting a house with. I even dolce my own house to move closer to be with her. She has a daughter, and I do too, so we would spend most of our relationship doing parent days out. Very few romantic times. We were together for 2 and a half years. At the beginning she was very lovely, put in a lot of effort, even paying for everything, including an expensive holiday abroad. Like paradise.
That was in the early months. Lots of holding hands, sex and relationship stuff. We even got engaged within 6 months. But she ‘lost’ the ring. (I don’t believe her) and I stupidly got another. A year later. She would not Wear it on her left hand. Oh so many lies and manipulation.
But she would disappear for days. And wasn’t honest about where she was. She had an ‘illness’ she told me that required her to go for regular hospital overnight stays. I never knew how much it was true. She would use this for the duration of the relationship as a way to go off radar. I never once could accompany her to the appointment.
She wouldn’t let me. Always gave an excuse.
I became her childcare on a Day a week when working from home and regular times over the weekends, while she worked or did ‘hospital’
We stopped having sex after about 6 months of the relationship. She wouldn’t let me touch her. She didn’t like holding hands, cuddling...was always on her phone. I couldn’t complain about it or I was ‘controlling her’.
Then only about twice again did we have sex in the last 2 years.. So the last year of relationship we had it only once. for ‘specialists’ to be present in the room for her condition. Over £2,000. I to this day feel conned from then alone. Many other instances of her taking my money. Thousands. Paying her car off. Paying half for furniture which she paid and got receipt for.
She slept in ‘our house’ at most a day or two a week. Living at her families house down the road, leaving me alone. and not video chatting. Never. Sometimes phone calls, but usually texts.
When she stayed, she let me ‘massage’ her. That was it. Never anything more and never have anything back. Complete u- turn from the beginning. That was our relationship. Me the massager.
She would display so many of the narcissist symptoms.
Lying about where she was. Gaslighting me. . Making me think I was ‘controlling’ or being negative for ever asking where she was. Or challenging her.
She would be on the phone to me, and come off, saying something came up and ‘I’ll call you back’
And never doing it. It happened often too when we were due to meet to go out. Last minute cancelling. And I let her use me like this. And I have sane mind! I was addicted to her. She would shower me and anyone close to her with gifts. Spending hundreds. But that would be my money in the end. I realised.
She never introduced me to her best friends. Only one friend. But that was once.
I did meet her family, but just assume they were all part of her narcissist ways.
She would expect me to drive her and pick her up, always. She had a licence and a car, but said it made a noise/ excuses why she didn’t drive it.
She had another man friend, again who she didn’t introduce to me. Kept him separate. Said he was like an uncle. Close to her family. The child’s godfather. He would give up work to do anything for her. Creepy
And I would be expected to do the same. Often. It was like she would wait for an important event, then phone me up just before to either get me to cancel or make me feel so guilty if I didn’t. And then o would have the aggressive side to her.
She stole money from me. She spent it on expensive designer goods on herself and family.
I could never confront or talk about these Things with her. Or money. She would sometimes get angry and violent/ using language I had never heard come from a woman. And punch me. Leaving me with throbbing arm. And almost scared of her in case the rage would come out. Yet when with others, she would be sweet and little girl like almost.
If I complained she would say I was ‘weak’ or something similar.
I learnt how to keep her sweet.

And he cut all her hair off. So she always went for hair extensions to replace. A damaged person from her past in lots of ways.

But a few final straw moments happened. Some of her lies caught up with her.
I spoke to a relationship helpline and when I said all this to them, they said ‘sounds like a narcissist’ . Leave her. Block her. And go ‘no contact’. Within 24 hours I was gone.
And only emailed her a week later to tell her that I was posting the keys back. never replied since. Actually we had argued a lot and she would say ‘we aren’t getting on, you need to get your own flat’ so she actually said this when I was moving out. So I said ‘yes ok’ which took her by surprise. I was her fee childcare, free rent, free car ride....
She has tried emailing me, posting photos of her with my daughter as her profile pic on social media for me to see (I have looked, but plan on going fully no contact- total blocks and try to forget. so not even peaking, but I wanted to see what she was up to, as fear for revenge for me daring to leave. I called the police to be aware when I was moving as when she found out she threatened sending her dad out.)

She was beautiful. She was much younger than me. And made me feel special to be with her.
There would have been too much to change of her to make it work. She still expects me to go back.
This has now been 3 weeks. But she had completely manipulated me, and lied about so much.
I have been getting through this with my close friends. anyway, I am restarting my life without her. It is hard. I was very involved. But it wasn’t healthy.