it is very difficult for me to see anything in black and white.

maybe i should be in the romantic relationship forum and not here. all the hiding and secrets were so uncharacteristic of any regular romantic relationship though and have caused me so much pain.

in my situation nothing whatsoever was romantic (not even in my thoughts) until a chance meeting a year after the end of the professional relationship. i found out he and his spouse were separated. everything changed for me in my perception of him. i started to talk to him like he was just a regular person. he still wanted to act like my therapist but i kept reminding him he was no longer in that role. i told him he was fired as my therapist. we became friends. on my initiative it became romantic. he was scared though about getting in trouble. we had to create a distance. that was a couple of years ago.