@Biba_yu It sounds like you allowed him to be in your life like this for 12 years because of your loneliness and the emotional abuse of your first marriage that lasted for 6 years. Then, there is your job where you feel bullied, and the fact that you feel rejected because you perceive yourself as so different than anyone else because you are naturally introverted and shy.

Do you have any support or help with your child/children? How old are they? Do you ever do anything fun with your child/children? I think if you focus on doing fun activities with your child/children, you will feel better about yourself. And, this will help you get out of your house and be active for your child/children, which will help you feel better too.