Hi Fuzzy!
It's wonderful you can identify and can feel your feelings!
Your feelings are never "right" or "wrong," they just are.
Feeling your feelings might help you to discern what you do and do not want in life.
You might decide I want more going for walks and less watching TV, for example.
Your feelings about each "going for walks" and "watching TV," may give you a clue as to what you'd like to have more of in your life.
If you have a notebook or another way to track this, maybe you could define what you want more of in your life?
I'll do this, too. I need to clarify just how to move forward in my life since my life has changed so drastically.
I think I'll describe the experience or activity.
Under that, I'll name my feelings and will write them down.
Next, I will decide if I want:
More Less None (In my life)
Every day, when I feel my feelings, I am going to use this format to list the experience or event. Then note my feelings. decide if I want more of that feeling or less of that feeling.
The types of activities/experiences which bring me more comfort, more joy and more positive feelings are those I want more of in my life.
FOCUS upon those activities/experiences you DO WANT MORE OF in your life. Talk about these. Think about how to build more of these kinds of things into your life.
The activities/experiences which have hurt you, have frustrated you, have brought you down have been noted. The associated feelings have also been noted.
You may read these in order to remind yourself; however, once you have processed the feelings, DO NOT FOCUS UPON THE THINGS YOU DO NOT WANT IN YOUR LIFE.
Once you have processed the feelings, don't focus on them, don't rant about them, don't let them rent ANY space in your head!
Leave as much space as possible the in your head and in your heart to think about, to talk about, to dream about the experiences/events/types of people YOU DO WANT IN YOUR LIFE.
When you have an experience that upsets you or brings you down, it's fine to talk about it and to write down your feelings.
Take time to process your feelings by: sharing your experience with others, journaling, etc.
Then drop it. Change your focus to something you DO WANT.
Let's say I go downtown and I unexpectedly see an old friend. I was so happy to see her! We had a great time visiting.
What are the feelings I was having/am having? Do I want more of this or less of this?
Let's say my cousin calls, is in a bad mood again and starts calling me names.
Which emotions am I feeling?
Do I want more or less of this in my life?
If you'd like to try this, or something like this, yet that better suits your needs, maybe give it a try? I am going to try it.
List and/or describe the event/experience.
Identify your feelings.
Decide if you want: More, Less, None.
Process your feelings by sharing, journaling, etc.
When done processing feelings associated with what you want "less" or "none" of, let them go.
When noting and processing the feelings elicited by an experience you do want, FOCUS UPON WHAT YOU DO WANT.
It's absolutely fine to share my feelings , all of them and of any type, here with everyone.
I am then going to then talk more about, share about, dream about the things I DO WANT.
Two very different examples:
I might come here and rant about how I went to a pub where the waitress was not friendly, she slammed the glasses and dishes on the table, she called Papa Bear a "jerk" and the bill was ridiculously high.
I might come here and post about a coffee shop I went to and the atmosphere was inviting, the people were very friendly, the coffee/tea was fantastic!
Share about either experience.
If you want MORE of any type of an experience, give this your focus and your attention.
Talk MORE about this positive experience and feel the helpful feelings associated with this happy experience when you think about it, talk about it, etc.
I am going to try this.
I need more clarity and direction about exactly what I DO WANT in my life.
I am inviting you to try this with me if it interests you?' (If not, it's fine. :
)
Much Love, Dear Friend
