I think if he was married, I would know. I know I few men who visited him at home often and their stories match what he said. I think we are on the wrong path here. I think my main problem is that I am not accepted by anyone. I feel like most rejected, most unwanted person in the universe. Without any given reason. He acted like he accepted me, he spent time with me, he reassured me, talked to me, and seemed like he likes and understands me. That never happened to me before. But it seems I was living an illusion, or maybe, he just has priorities on the other side. Or maybe, we don't understand each other at all and I was simply living in my head, oblivious of real truth.
What he said to me, when I last saw him, was that I was cruel. He said I don't understand how difficult his situation is. His parents health is seriously declining and they can't do most of things for themselves. They can't take care of themselves and they can't be left alone for 10 minutes anymore. So, he feels it's his duty, as a son, to take care of them 24hours a day. And to be honest, he does not look good. He has heart issues, which he ignores, and he looks worse for wear. He looks exhausted and tired. I can't help him, because I am not allowed there and honestly, how could I help? I have my own parents, and my child (who is 18 but still in highschool and still needs me) to take care of. And my full time job. I suggested him to get help from medical professional and I must have overstepped some boundaries then because he reacted badly, said that I am cruel, and he needs to help them not just to hand them over to some strangers, and it's not my thing to interfere in his situation and how he can't just "leave them to die", like I want him to leave them to die... he looked horrible physically and mentally exhausted. I just wanted to help. And I wanted at least some time for me. I felt cruel and at the same time, I felt like I damn deserved to be in his life at least a little even in those circumstances, not just tossed away. Am I cruel?
In my defense, my dad tried to care for my grandma when she was sick. He had no idea what he was doing, it made things so much worse. And I am worried my now maybe ex boyfriend could get seriously sick and he has no insurance. His heart is weak, he looks horrible and he is not medical professional! I have no idea what to do, this is starting to look like a horror movie. And I feel like the worst person for asking something for myself in this situation. Am I????
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