I swear you that I’m the last person to give advises about relationships.
I want to reply because you went through too much with all these abuses. I’m not shocked that you see so negatively your present and future.
I’m a woman your age, soon turning 48 and it hurt me that you wanted to throw the towel. I know you’re tired and hopeless.
I don’t think this boyfriend of yours didn’t like you. You felt it. But, I understand that now for you the best is to try to overcome this relation and move on.

If you need to talk in private and think that I could be the right person, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’m quite good at listening.