Thanks for the responses. I think you're probably right. No point rehashing the past.

I don't trust her. Maybe it's wise that I just keep it that way. I guess I was looking for a way to restore the trust I used to place in her. She's smug, self-righteous, inauthentic, opportunistic. Still, if I was in a jam, she'ld want to help me. I don't want her ever going out of her way for me. She isn't all that thrilled with how her life turned out. I suppose I just should accept that I will never feel too close to her. She can't change. Neither can I.

When my guy dies, she'll send me something and invite me to come stay with her. I won't have the time. I'll thank her and say I'll visit her another time. Then I just won't. She'll wonder why I keep my distance. I don't have to explain anything.