Little update. Well a big one. Just 3 days after I made the last post I started dating a woman that I met in my early 20s. I was very attracted to her back then and found out then she was to me as well, but we were both involved and eventually married other people. We were both divorced at the time of my last post and we decided to date. We moved in together shortly thereafter. We married in 2018. While not perfect, it's far from the abuse I suffered from my ex. She loves me and I love her. Zero jealousy issues with her and that is the way I like it. My ex? She did something I cannot and will not talk about that almost wound her up in prison (didn't involve me). Also another suicide attempt. She finally got some help and knows that she has a problem without a doubt, but the doc diagnosed her as bipolar, not BPD. Easily confused I know, but I'm 1000% convinced to this day that she is BPD. She has pretty much all of the symptoms. I've spoken to her on a couple of occasions and she seems to be doing better now, but I really won't allow her into my life in any way. While I will always love her, she is very toxic to me and I can't really have someone like her in my life really in any capacity because of that toxicity. Those of you that read this that are BPD, don't take that as I'm saying there isn't hope for you. There is always hope, but there's a lot of work involved on your part to overcome.