Denise,

I know you are having a lot of conflicting feelings that are distressing you. And probably feeling very judged for those feelings too. It's okay to be honest and acknowledge you have feelings for someone, to yourself, at the very least.

I've had feelings for male friends who were married before but of course would never want to harm them or their families and made sure to put them in the brother zone and be super clear about our friendship.

You cant control how you feel but you can control what you do, how you act on what you feel.

I dont know him and I dont know you. I know that my stepdad and mom were friends for a long time, both married to other people, and unhappy, and when their marriages finally ended, they married each other and are very happy now. I dont want to tell you there's no hope, but other members are right that if he cheats to be with you, he'll also cheat on you. If he's unhappy in his marriage, he will leave on his own.

I think the best and safest thing you can do is to.distance yourself, because unless he leaves his wife and seeks you out on his own, there is little chance this will be healthy.

I know you want to reach out and just speak to him, but I really encourage you to examine if that is for you or for him. Does he really need an apology or are you seeking an excuse to get close again? It's okay if you are. When we are attracted to someone it can be hard to fight these feelings. But again, ask yourself what is healthiest for you in the long run, and maybe it's best to refrain from contact, even to apologize.

While it's quite simple that he is married, I know your feelings are not so simple.