My Support Forums - View Single Post - Is life sometimes a series of random bad luck?

seesaw · Feb 24, 2020 at 01:43 PM

Ruby, I know many bad things happening can feel overwhelming, but having read and conversed with you on a number of your threads, I feel you are rewriting the narrative of what happened to justify maladaptive behaviors, instead of seeing your own part in these things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruby2011

It seems like misfortune begets misfortune. One bad event can give rise to other stuff. Like the incident at Arby's where my supervisor had me canned caused my mental breakdown.

You misbehaved at work, didn't follow the rules, and got fired. That's not bad luck. That's fired for cause. So your mental breakdown was the result of the consequences of your own failure to follow rules.

1. I lived on my own at that time and I immediately ceased to function. I cut classes to get wasted. On my days off my remaining job at Sam's Club, I would sleep all day. I would also call home EVERY DAY when my breakdowns overwhelm me.

Getting wasted was a choice you made in dealing with the consequences of your behavior that got you fired at Arby's. This is not bad luck, this is a ramification of your actions.

2. When my breakdowns physically rendered me unable to speak, I started acting out at Sam's Club. It cost me my job eventually.

Again, you chose to act out. These are chain reactions based on your choices. You do have the power to choose how you will behave. I know it seems like you don't, but I promise, you can choose how to react and cope with things.

3. My BF who I met at Sam's Club quit his job and went to work for Arby's. That triggered me like hell, so I broke up with him.

I don't know the history of this but it does seem just like a bad coincidence that he would go work for your former employer. And I can see that it would be upsetting. I'm sorry this got piled on.

So now I can't live on my own and I'm single. I can't trust anyone. I've now been working at McDonald's for 2 years and I'm constantly worried that someone will suddenly turn on me.

Ruby, you relapsed. It's okay. It happens to us all. But instead of rewriting the narrative to justify acting out and maladaptive coping skills, learn from how the initial bad behaviors, and failure to address them, created a chain reaction of bad events in your life. At any point you really did have the power to turn it around by addressing your behaviors and coping skills.

I think you can learn from this, and I hope you do. I am always impressed by your desire to be better, Ruby, and I believe in you and know you can do it.