Quote:
Originally Posted by Wounded Souldier
it is very difficult for me to see anything in black and white.
maybe i should be in the romantic relationship forum and not here. all the hiding and secrets were so uncharacteristic of any regular romantic relationship though and have caused me so much pain.
in my situation nothing whatsoever was romantic (not even in my thoughts) until a chance meeting a year after the end of the professional relationship. i found out he and his spouse were separated. everything changed for me in my perception of him. i started to talk to him like he was just a regular person. he still wanted to act like my therapist but i kept reminding him he was no longer in that role. i told him he was fired as my therapist. we became friends. on my initiative it became romantic. he was scared though about getting in trouble. we had to create a distance. that was a couple of years ago.
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I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Know that it’s common to have conflicting feelings about this type of relationship. But it was never your fault.
It doesn’t matter who initiated romantic interests. It *is his* responsibility to hold that boundary. He knows this kind of relationship is unethical and is very likely to hurt you. He is supposed to keep your best interests at heart. If he really cared about you, he would have.
Keep writing here. Many of us have gone through such a relationship and we are here to help. If you search back you’ll find many of us have written about our stories here, too.