As someone who HAS taken 30 pills at once and had to call 911, it seems to me that you're awfully close do taking a lethal dose of pills. When I'm thinking of taking an OD, I am always told to have someone trustworthy hold my meds for me. It helps. Its not the only answer as one can easily find pills elsewhere but it triggers your brain into "maybe I shouldn't do this"- at least it did for me. Bottom line, if you're that close to ODing maybe you should call the psych ER or go in to be seen. Stay safe!