Thanks seesaw. I think it might be foolish to go opening up old wounds. She got real ugly back 13 years ago. I'll always be wary of her. She is an extremely defensive person. She probably thought-blocks any realization that she treated people pretty shabbily. Some in the family say she probably has a lot of sublimated guilt.

She's not someone I want to get close with. She can be icy and dismissive right when that's the last thing a person needs. I don't want another taste of that. For years, she hasn't been much of a presence in my life. I'ld rather we be distant than have her give me an emotional gut punch again. So she can keep sending the flowers. I guess it makes her feel good. It doesn't do me any harm.

Somethings in life are just mysteries. Maybe I'm best off to just accept that I don't understand her. I don't have to understand everything. She's someone I am distrustful of. If things can be superficially pleasant, maybe that's good enough. We have very different values. That came as a big surprise when I discovered how different. In some ways, she is a decent person. Most of my life I thought we were very good friends. That fizzled out a long time ago. I was saddened when I realized that it had. Something that I don't understand prompts her to send me expensive bouquets on my birthday. There's no harm in receiving those flowers. (This was not the first time she sent me flowers.) I'm kind of mystified. Life can be puzzling. I sure could have worse problems.