Hello,
Thanks for the hugs Open Eyes, and thank you Dyromii...you are very correct...everyone here has been awesome with advice I needed to hear. I've taken what I can and I am slowly wrapping up my pitty party blanket. One day I'll through it in the attic...promise. I definitely have learned that I can't try to hammer it all in...I'm slowly learning about surrender and working through my understandings of trusting in a higher power. He and I have talked with each other since I was a kid...and like most fathers he's had to hear me cry and ***** about how unfair things were in my life growing up. I just haven't learned to apply yet...only took me 30 years to finally listen. I guess the drugs, alcohol, and my ego kinda made me deaf to it. I definitely must start with my anxiety attacks, our kids need to see me handle and fix not panic and run in to walls. Thanks for the compliment too... I don't consider myself proud..I shoulda done this a decade ago...when things happen that put our family in my hands to manage...and I ran to alcohol instead of managing myself...it took some humbling to do it sober....before I was just applying myself mechanically like it was my job not my family and using alcohol as my escape time.
I promise...I'm not downtalking your praise...but I'm looking forward to properly earning what you have given me. So ...meetings this Thurs & Friday...Sponsor...and learning steps!