Thank you all for your honest replies.

Have hope - you know, I was reading your thread about your husband yesterday and I was going to message you about it. From your replies at the time it seems me and you are on exactly the same wavelength about lying, about monogamy, everything. You certainly aren’t alone with it, yet this point of view about relationships is pretty devastating isn’t it? We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

I do believe the thing from the past was nothing to do with me really, the past is past, he did what he did for his reasons but I needed to know the full nature of it because i felt like I had a right to know who I was starting my life with