Long post....For the past year and change, I have been seeing this guy..it has not been smooth sailing. There have been SO MANY red flags...starting with his excessive drinking, to his past relationships, childhood, criminal record (almost 30 years ago), inability to connect emotionally on a high level, putting friends first, etc. Because of my self esteem I stayed with him..he has flaked on me, spoken to me in an abusive manner but then would rationalize it..he is good at telling you about your so called behavior, but sees nothing wrong with his, his drinking and blacking out, etc. After the new year he wanted to make a change..so he stopped drinking during the week, we would meet up and go to the gym, have dinner, etc. Wasn’t perfect, but I felt we were making some progress and growing closer...then this past weekend, he invited me to a family party. I have a child, so I had to make arrangements for a babysitter...so dropped him off at a relatives house. I get to his house, and it’s not even 2:00 and he’s drinking..we were supposed to be at the party at 3, his family is calling him and we didn’t leave until after 5, and he’s blasted. We are in an Uber and he is telling me that he’s going to leave the party to hang with his boys...we had plans to hang out after, plus in the morning we’re going somewhere...so he blew me off so he could party with his friends and one family member...had he told me this ahead of time I would have declined the invitation, because there would be no point to go. I told him in the car that if he does this to me (he did something similar before) that I won’t forgive him...he didn’t care then added he thought I would be happy that he’s including me in his family...I told him you really have no respect for me, all you care about is drinking and getting drunk with your boys...he denied not respecting me but I know better...

Fast forward, we get to the party...his mom and dad and brother were also there so at least I knew them...he didn’t pay much attention to me but I started talking to and hanging out with a couple girls also...he said he was leaving and tried to put me in a cab, 2 or 3 times...I say no, you go I’m staying here...you want to party so guess what? So am I! He didn’t seem to like that, and he kept wanting to know what me and his cousin were talking about...after he left I found out ALOT.. he has a bad track record with relationships, he’s a recovering alcoholic...and when his cousin told him earlier that what he’s doing isn’t right and how I had to get a babysitter, Which he just says well, I don’t have kids..his cousin told me after this, I can’t talk to him again..that he doesn’t care about me..his mom told me he isn’t supposed to drink at all due to a brain imbalance (mental issue?) so I ended up taking a lyft home, but not before sending him a long text...

Next day, he texts me at noon with two you tube videos that were supposed to be his version of apologizing...I didn’t say I accept your apology..because I warned him I wouldn’t forgive him and I don’t. Yesterday, I sent him a long email about his alcoholism and asked him how many people I’d he going to hurt until he had had enough, and what is it going to take for him to realize he has a problem? Etc etc. Later that day, he texts me saying he isn’t right, but he’s moving forward...he said this about 3x as we were texting..he’s used to me making a fuss about not wanting to lose him, so I end up taking the fall, forgiving him and the cycle continues...I was supposed to pick up my things yesterday but apparently he was busy...like literally, I was meeting him around the corner for 2 min..apparently he is going to meet me today...I am NOT taking responsibility for this...he messed up not me.