today is Sat and it is hot ans windy. I've got my fans on, I refuse to touch the airconditioner. I'm lonely as usual and there is nothing on tv to watch. I don't want to upset anyone especially greenpeppers, but I feel a little intimidated in the chat rooms. I know all of you have been together a long time and i appreciate that. I guess that is why I feel so embarassed but I wanted to get it out. Anything I keep inside just festers until it gets bigger and bigger and I am ready to go under. I guess it's just my paranoia+, is it? I have been acting strange this week, (what's new) ha ha Do you understand what I am trying to say? I want to join in but not sure what to say or will I hurt someones feelings. Which room do I go in. I really would love to chat, I feel good afterwards, like I'm not alone and someone usually says something funny and I find myself laughing at the computer. Then I worry, did that person really mean to be funny. I do have a weird sense of humor and very few people have the same humor as I. I'm just upset. losing it and panicky. I want the outside problems to stop. I went to get the Cymbalta filled and they couldn't do it because my drug company said I had been on it for too long. Can you imagine a drug company knowing more than a pdoc. I just wanted to cry and I am crying and I am a mess. And I am writing a book and I know it is too long to read or if anyone cares. It's ok not to care. I don't care about me either. janet