The biggest thing I take away from this story is the illusion of acceptance.
You believe he accepts who and what yo are regardless of your flaws. That you know and understand each other like noone else can... Except you don't.
How can you. You don't really know someone until you have been in someone's company for extended periods of time, through thick and thin, good and bad.
If he really knew and understood you why on earth would he treat you like this, unless its deliberately to be hurtful in which case he is no different to your ex partner.
If you really knew and understood him you would have spotted that he wanted different things years ago and that your goals were not compatible.

In 12 years you have spent roughly 10 months in this man's company maybe even less.. That's ALOT of time spent waiting.

In another twelve that will be 24 years of your life for less than 2 years of his time?

Is it worth it.