Well that’s a good question and one I have thought about a lot ..I use to beat myself up over it but I let it go

When I got divorced my daughter was almost 6 ... of course she spent a lot of time with her dad we were both flexible about raising her. We didn’t stick to some every other week end stuff , so I suddenly had all this time “off being Mommy.. so I picked up a part time job, extra money is always nice.

I had a small group of friends, but everybody had kids and / or busy careers, so it was really hit or miss getting together.

I enjoyed being home. Anyway when I started dating Him... looking back now I see that he expected to talk daily many times... we are talking home phones and I had a pager lol

So yes red flag , since he would call on the house phone he knew where I was. I also see now it was classic case of cutting back seeing my friends. If we were going out with someone he often felt “ sick” so I’d cancel plans.

No one really pointed out anything to me..I was really a home body and loved time with my daughter and relaxing on the weekends I had a demanding job in the medical field.

After all this happened my 2 guy friends , one I am happily married too now both said they weren’t 100% okay , felt something could have been off but I always seemed happy so they didn’t push , because in general I didn’t take crap from anyone.

Had either of them come to me with a concern I’m sure I certainly would have take it seriously .. I trusted both of them 100 %

I think now a days more people are aware of women being groomed and isolated because it’s being talked about.. we see thread after thread here of women wondering if there bf/husband / wife whatever is abusive.

One thing I will say is that guy never mistreated my daughter at all .. I’d say he actually spoiled her.. which is another trait of guys like him.. get in good with the kids..

My experience however awful it was did help my daughter to watch for red flags as she started dating, she was super picky about who she would date and still is. So I think I have saved her from becoming a victim and I know she’s helped numerous friends over the years when she saw them in a unhealthy relationship.

I think if anyone suspects a friend or family member might be in a situation like mine they need to be careful/gentle when first asking some questions. You don’t want that person to immediately feel they need to defend there partner.

But if your friend is obviously being abused as in leaving bruises or you witness a person being verbally abused then step in right away.