Thank you everyone for your views on it. To be honest it’s been a relief just to openly talk about it. I’m embarrassed about it all.

I’m going away this weekend it will be my first night away from him since the beginning so I’m looking forward to getting out in my own head space. I’m sure that will give me more perspective too.

I’d like to think I could trust him again. I’ve been in past relationships where my first partner (my daughters dad) made me question my own mind constantly. Messaging girls in front of me whilst we were in bed together, and then getting so angry he scared and convinced me that I was hallucinating - I was only 18 when I got with him and I didn’t know any better. 6 years of that and I came out of it genuinely not knowing what was real life and what was on my head. I feel this now, I don’t know know my own mind when my emotions are so high.

My partner is a decent person, he’s put nothing but 110% in to making me feel wanted, proving himself and proving his love since we met. I know people say this, but I really have found myself a diamond here, so this has been a huge contrast I haven’t been able to understand