Since today is Ash Wednesday, I'm glad because it is a holy day but I'm also grieving the loss of SH, if that makes any sense whatsoever. I'm going to be without it for many days now in a row and I can't go back on my promise. I tried talking with my Regular T about my fear of relapse but she was like, if it happens it happens, and it doesn't happen to everyone. Neither of which satisfied me. I'm feeling sad that I can't "use" SH right now even though I wanted to give it up for Lent. It's like, when you can't do something, you want it more.