There is a brainwashing component that alienated a son from us who was a perfect kid never with any issues. I’m heartbroken from the reality that this happened and he couldn’t have loved us or he wouldn’t have been capable of being alienated....maybe???

As for the domestic violence, right now I believe he is happy. I don’t know if this will change and his relationship become abusive. The way I see it, anything so cruel can’t be healthy. But time will tell.

We have been vilified and accused of being bad, when we were so good. There is no defending yourself to someone who wants to drive you away. They make up excuses.

There is a component too, that his generation wants nothing to do with my generation’s values. This was an “OK Boomer”.

I also own up to generations of dysfunction. This is probably what made him fall into his issues. No alcoholics in my family. Just emotional issues. I feel guilty for my negative example even though I was so nice to the kids. I hope think his hatred of us was not about the few silly things he said we did. Rather it was our dysfunction with our marriage that set a bad example. Generations influenced the next. Never physical abuse. Emotional abuse.

I’m trying to turn it into something good that I can do with my life. There must be some divine reason for my recurring theme here. I hope I can find some purpose to make sense of it all.