The worse has been harsh comments about my personality or my way. But, when being a kid and then an adolescent, comments about my physical appearances were equally hurting.

When being a grown adult, I came back home crying because I went to be with my grandma to the hospital.
In front of another relative who expressed how good granddaughter I was, my grandma doesn’t lose her opportunity to say that even though, my brother was the apple of her eye.
I stayed there until my mother came and I went home trying to hold my tears back. Does it mean I didn’t meant anything for her? No, of course but again, I’m a sensitive person and I already had that feeling and complex about my place in the family.

It could have been worse. I was never abuse physically and only a little verbally but I felt as if I couldn’t be me because this isn’t what others expected from me but I end up being exactly me. I can’t be any other thing.

Thanks for your supportive words and thanks the other users’ words. I took into account each reply. And I’m considering, @bpcyclist, the thing about body dysmorphia. It seems it fits quite a bit to me, even in the perfectionism social anxiety and depression as possible background.