Quote:
Originally Posted by lady411
I do respond aggressively but I could never get close enough to hurt him back. He is very strong and very fast.
I agree completely that it is setting a terrible example for the kids no matter their age. They hear, see, and feel everything. When they are around I do try to keep my calm for their sake.
Can you please elaborate on how being vulnerable can lead to him controlling me?
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To answer how being vulnerable with him will lead to him controlling you even more. You are in abusive marriage. If you are vulnerable and share something, your abuser can use it against you as one more thing to abuse and control you about. Being vulnerable is good when you are in a healthy relationship. With abusers you need to be hyper vigilant and watch your back, not be vulnerable and give them more ammunition.
Sadly this isn’t ever getting better, it’s not how it works. He’d hide cameras better and he might not hit you tomorrow and give you a break but eventually it will escalate.
Glad to hear you will be seeing a therapist. I’d see one alone and share what happens at home. Couples therapy with abusers might not be the best idea. It sometimes leads to more abuse (from what I heard from people who attempted therapy with their abusers)