I can totally relate to the feeling of being helpless in having no control of how you feel or what you have done. I do not have nightmares, instead for the past 30 days I wake up, can't shut my mind off and lose sleep. Over and over I kept thin king I did something wrong, then I finally got it through to myself I did nothing wrong. To love unconditionally, a person has to return the same as you give. I am tired of beating myself up because in my heart I know I am a good person. But the truth is love hurts, rejection hurts and to feel blamed for something you did or didn't do it a battle in your mind. But you are never alone, God is always with you.