It sounds like your father may have been narcissistic and insisted everyone do things HIS way and his love was extremely conditional.
This can lead to what you describe as:
Quote:
|
I wake up feeling a sinking sense of dread, feeling trapped, powerless, helpless, and full of anger.
|
It's only natural that talking about things you experienced in your past with your father can trigger you to re-experience events that caused you to have these emotions and react with anger towards him, fighting him as a way to not experience these trapped and powerless feelings.