Please don't ever think you are whining. Your post seems so familiar to my own life. I feel fake, I think most people w/ DID do. 'cos we just aren't "us" most times. I can relate to the confusing people of what I said/ didn't say. People get so irritated w/ me just like you said- & I don't know why! My people & I have a pact, no matter who was out, you do what was being done previously. Then nobody would notice that "I" wasn't "me".
Even though you're struggling & hurting, you're reaching out. I'm glad you shared your personal story. We're all understanding here & can relate to much of what you are going thru. We've shared our own personal stories as well.
I hope you continue to post in here. You'll find wonderful support. The option is open to PM me as well.
Love,
RhysMadison