I guess its hard for some people to understand. I was with both at the same time they both knew about the other and were ok with it . Me my wife and my girlfriend would hang out together. Call it a 3 way what ever you wont it worked for 2 years all 3 of us were happy. The time came for it to end . But i still miss her she was my best friend .I love my wife and been with her for 23 years but my girlfriend was bipolar and so am I we had a special relationship that I miss now that she gone .We dont need marital counseling there were no lies everything was out in the open.How do I say this my wife need her at the time as much as I did Bipolar a hard illness on a relationship and my girlfriend took that part of me till me and my wife learned how to live with it together if any thing it saved are marriage.