Quote:
Originally Posted by lady411
I hope you understand that I wasn’t raised to just give up on marriage on a whim. There has only been three divorces in the past 4 generations of my entire family. Before I got married to my husband I was the only single mom in my family. I know I will change. I hope that he changes. But if he doesn’t then that will determine a lot of our future.
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I admit I have trouble understanding.
He has hit you, he is very controlling of you, and he is very abusive towards you. Yet you’re clinging onto what? The illusion of true love in your marriage?
Healthy love does NOT involve control, spying, or hitting. And abuse is always about power and control over another. Abuse is NOT love!
Your children WILL suffer the consequences and will grow up to become dysfunctional unhealthy children and adults because they had a mother who refused to walk away from an abuser, simply because no one in the family gets a divorce.
This may sound harsh or judgmental of me, but you’re not putting your kids’ growth and health first, and I think that’s most saddening.
Your children WILL suffer because you’re too stubborn to walk away and because are willing to put up with abuse.
And leaving at this point wouldn’t be on a whim. You’ve said this has been ongoing for a long time now. It's not on a whim. It would be based on a history of abuse that keeps escalating and getting worse over time.
So when you’re bruised because he’s battered you and you’re hiding your bruises from your kids are you still going to defend staying in the marriage because your family doesn’t divorce? Or because you say you love him and cannot give up on the marriage?
When is enough going to be enough? After he beats you to a pulp the next time? Or the time after that?
It’s very foolish to think he will change. And it’s foolish to believe you can knock sense into him. You’re trying to “fix” a most broken and toxic man. The person you’re fooling Is yourself.