After reading about your story with few detail, I’m gonna dare to give you a little push forward. I think your son is hurt.
I understand that you both are in pain. It’s normal, what Purple Violet says makes a lot of sense, take the last conversation with your son as the first step for an approachment

I challenge you to name a single family who is perfect.

Maybe your guy needs to understand that his attitude didn’t make things easy either. So, give you both a chance.

I don’t know if I’m getting very wrong from the few details I know but I can talk to you from a daughter perspective since I don’t have children and I’m not a mum.
A daughter who had quite a few problems with both parents and I swear you that I can’t blame them without recognising also my role.
So no blame on any part, only trying to understand each other. Little by little, will good will on both sides.
This last paragraph is based on what I’ve lived. And if it could be a reference, I will tell you that it took more than the 24 your son is.