This explains a lot.

Don't fool yourself that these were all heavenly happy marriages because there were no divorces. The women (and men) would stay in unhappy/abusive marriages because on some level divorce was taboo.
This is often a cultural/religious thing, even if just a familial culture as in your case. It in no way signifies these were all blissful marriages.

You may very well find yourself years down the road, watching your children in their own dysfunctional relationships, as this is what they know.
You don't want to live a life of regret seeing the damage caused to your children because you stayed in an abusive relationship.

I understand you want to give it your all before you end your marriage, and that is an admiral thing, but we're talking abuse here, and he may never change, especially without intensive therapy, preferably on his own with a therapist who specializes in that. Then after that couples therapy.
Perhaps this could be done while in a trial separation (staying with your parents?). This could result in your either ending the marriage knowing you did all you could, or he may actually come to know the damage he is doing to his family, and actually change.