I was diagnosed with "Psychosis NOS" about 5 years ago. To be honest, I don't really fit into any category very well. I truly believe that unidentified people have been monitoring me for a long time. In my mind, I have a lot of circumstantial evidence (no smoking gun). The rest of the details don't matter too much, but honestly the entire "delusion" is plausible (but highly unlikely). Its not impossible, and they are interpretations of factual events. I have no other symptoms of schizophrenia.

I'm so traumatized by people telling me that I'm "misinterpreting" situations. Its been the focus on my therapy for 8 years. And its what (very well-intentioned) friends have been telling me forever. I no longer trust my own thoughts and opinions. And I don't feel comfortable asking for help anymore... people are just going to judge me and make me feel responsible for things that are outside of my control.

Its traumatizing to be repeatedly told that your own opinions and intuition and knowledge are a bunch of "thought distortions". I get that everyone is trying to help. I don't blame anyone.

But, here I am, feeling completely trapped, and I don't know what to do.

I was seeing a therapist. I told her upfront that I needed someone to accept my experience as "Reality". I guess she thought that she could change my mind. Finally, she told me that we couldn't talk about my experiences anymore. So, I had to quit. I'm not a fragile person. I wasn't overly attached to her. I'll find another therapist. But its so frustrating.

This is exactly how my family handled the situation. We just couldn't talk about it. And my sister said she needed boundaries. But my experience is a huge part of my life. So what do I talk about with them?

Does anyone have any recommendations for finding a therapist that is experienced with people diagnosed with delusions?

How about therapists who specialize in people feeling "gaslit" by the mental health profession, as well as friends and family.

Is it frustrating to anyone else that no one trusts our opinions and experiences? Do you feel belittled and judged? Any suggestions? I've thought about this for a long time, and I don't see a way to get around this feeling. It's become another "fact" in my experience.

Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!