Toxic and perfect are both two extremes, they both don’t bring any peace. This reminds me a lot of me (and why maybe I’m hesitant to go back into fully committing to dating) because I would either attract psychos or boring/no spark kind of guys. When I was being honest with myself I realized the reason I was attracted (sorry to say) to toxic unavailable men is because that was what was modeled to me growing up.

And I was also looking for the perfect man by the way! And I made the criteria so impossible it was funny. This was me reflecting my own feelings of inadequacy. When I liked a guy I would always find something wrong in them so that I could end the relationship quickly. The ones who had so much wrong in them, I wanted to nurture and embrace them because “I understand what he’s going through”

I can’t give you any updates now because I’m not fully in the dating space (in and out). But I definitely know I deserve quality and I’m not afraid to block someone after a week of chatting. Even if I was never raised by one or had one as a friend, I know I could match a good man with the love I can give. And that’s all that matters really!