Still can't eat. Had 2 cokes at work today (I know it's not the healthiest, but I don't like the water at work)...that's it.
I realized something....I feel extremely guilty at the thought of eating anything, even if it is something small.
I don't know why that is and it is bothering me now because I am afraid that I will never be able to eat again.

I know that I feel really guilty at driving my bf away, but I also have hope because we are working on ourselves and then maybe one day we might be together again.
I am having a hard time knowing that he seems so happy without me. Every time we IM it's like "I am having so much fun" or "I laughed so hard". I don't have that. I don't have friends IRL here and my family would look at me badly if they knew just how much I hurt by recent events.
I go to my physician on Monday (day after tomorrow) and I will talk to her, but I don't see T until Tuesday at 4pm.
I sure hope I can work thru some of this because I am, honestly, feeling a little like I am in a fog or something....


maybe this should be posted in "eating disorders" now? IDK