I want to thank everyone for your feedback. As difficult as it may be to take it in, I need to hear others perspective so I don’t turn a blind eye on all these red flags. I don’t want to fall into the same traps as before and fall back into his arms without fixing anything.
Although, the mediator idea would be grand I already know that he will not agree to that for the same reason that it leaves a paper trail.
I went to a center for battered woman over an incident that occurred over a year ago when I was last pregnant and I remember how furious he became that I would involve the authorities and have everything documented. And of course, to this day he hasn’t admitted any fault for that incident.

It’s very difficult to cope with the idea that my marriage could be in the beginning of its end. We’ve only exchanged a handful of words the last few days that only involved our children’s caretaking. I just feel that there is so much left undone and unsaid. I’m staying true to my faith so I can be strong enough to do what is best for my kids. They deserve the best home environment I can provide for them. Although they haven’t seen us get physical with each other, I don’t want to wait around and do nothing until it happens.