Toxic abusers can most definitely be women. They can manipulate and gaslight and play victim all to gain total control. Some women have killed their own children and husbands. Some women can be extremely narcissistic and can love bomb and seem nice and then attack and threaten and rage just as bad as some men sometimes even worse. They can also practice stalking methods and make it a point to set traps all to punish their target. They can act like Florence Nightingale and all the while be stealing from the person they claim to care about and are taking good care of.